


the fight

by aislingdoheanta



Series: Robert Week 2018 [5]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Communication, Domestic Boyfriends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Fix-it, Episode Related, Fix-It, Jealousy, M/M, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 01:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15961538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: Rewrite of the January fight, pre-prison storyline. What would have happened if Robert had just gone to talk to Aaron after their fight in the pub? (tw: biphobic language and ideas mentioned a bit - Robert mentions that he’s worried Aaron doesn’t accept his bisexuality and they talk about it a little bit)Written for Day Five of Robert Week - “ Write a scene the way you wish it had gone.”





	the fight

**Author's Note:**

> I have been waiting for this prompt since before this week officially started and I had a couple different plot places I was debating between, but this is the one that kept demanding to be written. These two idiots do keep talking in circles, but they wouldn't be Robron if they didn't. Also, there's some mentions of biphobia (Robert worries that Aaron doesn't accept him) and they talk about it. 
> 
> Come say "Hi!" on [tumblr.](http://saras-almanac.tumblr.com/ask)

_I can’t make you happy, mate. I mean, literally, I can’t do it._

The words reverberated in Robert’s head as he threw some clothes into a bag. He could feel the tightness in his chest and he wanted to just run down the stairs and take back everything he’d said, but he was just so tired. Tired of having the same fight over and over again. Tired of fighting every week with Aaron. Tired of not being enough.

Robert wanted more than anything to be the person that made Aaron happy, that loved him. He’d tried so hard. He was there for Aaron during Gordon’s trial. He was there for Aaron when he was learning how to look after Liv. He wanted to marry Aaron, properly. But it wasn’t enough.

Robert went back downstairs to look for his car keys. Maybe he’d just go to Hotten for the night, find a hotel or something.

Aaron was standing there, leaning against the cabinets and staring down at the table where Robert’s ring was sitting. Robert leaned around him to grab his keys, not having the energy for another fight.

“You’re actually gonna do this, yeah?” Aaron asked. Robert hated the pain he could hear in Aaron’s voice, hated that he was the one causing it, but he had to do this. He couldn’t keep doing this to himself, or to Aaron.

“Well, what’s the point in wearing it?” Aaron’s face crumbled at that, but Robert continued on. “I didn’t buy it because I wanted a bit of bling. It was supposed to show you my commitment, Aaron. But if you can’t get that into your thick head, then.”

Aaron pushed himself off where he’d been leaning. “So, what, you’re really gonna call it off?”

“We can’t get married if we haven’t even got the basics right. Like trust,” Robert explained.

Aaron’s face hardened. “You mean you just wanna keep your options open. Did you ever even love me?”

Robert stared at him because how could Aaron _not_ know that? How could Aaron doubt that most fundamental truth about Robert? The truest thing about Robert was his love for Aaron and it infuriated him that Aaron would doubt that at all.

“I saved your life! And I risked mine to go back in the water to get you that ring. That’s how much you mean to me,” Robert shouted.

“Yeah, but you keep lying to me, Robert, so you can be with her!” Aaron shouted back. “Or one of the other women you keep throwing yourself at.”

“One woman!” Robert argued. “One woman! And I was playing nice to get a deal done.”

Aaron scoffed at that. “Or you mean you can’t make your mind up what you want.”

Vic rushed into the back room. “Guys! Do you wanna keep it down a bit, please?”

Aaron and Robert looked down at the ground and neither said a word.

“You all right?” Vic asked.

Robert watched as Aaron grabbed a bottle off the shelf and rushed out of the pub. “I will be.”

Robert shuffled to the side to let Aaron pass and could feel Vic staring at him.

“All right. Out with it,” Vic said. “What’s happened?”

“We’re over,” Robert said.

“You can’t be,” Vic said. “You’ll sort this all out.”

“I’m not sure we can this time,” Robert said.

“You can’t be over, not after everything you’ve been through,” Vic said quietly.

“Exactly,” Robert said, moving over to lean against the back of the sofa. “Even after all of that, he still can’t believe I’m serious about him.”

Vic sighed as she leaned next to him. “Well maybe you shouldn’t have lied about being with Rebecca.”

“I only helped her out because she begged me,” Robert argued. “It wouldn’t have made much difference if I had told Aaron the truth. He gets his back up even if I mention her name.”

“She’s your ex, Robert,” Vic said. “You can’t blame him for being jealous.”

“But that’s the thing,” Robert admitted. “I don’t think it’s just jealousy.”

“Then what is it?”

“I think it’s about him… not liking that I’m bi,” Robert said quietly.

“Why do ya say that?”

“It’s just… He keeps saying stuff about me not wanting to make my mind up. Or that I can’t accept who I am,” Robert said. “He wants me to choose him, but I have. I don’t know how to convince him otherwise. I thought getting married would do that, but I’m not sure that’s the answer anymore.”

“Have you talked about this with Aaron?” Vic asked.

“Not specifically,” Robert said. “I’m not great at talking about this stuff. I’m just… I spent so long lying about who I am and now. Now, it just feels like I’ve finally admitted it and am open about it with someone who doesn’t want me to be…me.”

“Well,” Vic said. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe Aaron doesn’t like that you’re bisexual or doesn’t get it or is confused by it. Or _maybe_ he just doesn’t like you spending so much time with your ex, an ex who has made moves on you already. Maybe he’s just scared of losing ya, or you getting bored with him.”

Robert shrugged. Vic had a point but, if he was being honest, he was scared to find out the answer. “But what if he doesn’t want me?”

“I don’t think he’d be so upset about all this if he didn’t want ya, Rob,” Vic said. “And you’re not going to figure anything out until you’ve talked with him.”

Vic stood up and pulled on Robert’s arm to lead him to the door. “So out ya go. Go find him. Talk to him. _Really_ talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Listen to how he feels.”

Robert swallowed and nodded.

“I think you two will get everything sorted if you just talk to each other,” Vic said. “And then you’ll head off to Vegas for some time to be alone and that’s just what you two need.”

Vic practically pushed Robert out the door. “Thanks, Vic.”

“I am amazing,” Vic said. “Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t.”

“Now go and find your fiancé,” Vic said. She shut the door on him and Robert turned around to go and look for Aaron.

Robert didn’t have to look long or far. Aaron was sat on a table in front of the pub and drinking straight from the bottle. It was cold outside and Robert just wanted to bundle Aaron up and take him home, forget all this happened, and head to Vegas. But Vic was right. They needed to sort this out if they wanted to get passed this. Otherwise, it’d keep coming back.

“Mind if I join you?” Robert asked, his hands in his pockets as he walked up to where Aaron was sitting.

“I do, actually,” Aaron said. He took another drink.

“I’m sorry about before,” Robert said. “Calling everything off. I don’t want to split up.”

“You seemed to want that when you took your ring off,” Aaron said.

Robert sighed. “You know me, always one for dramatics.” Aaron didn’t even crack a smile at that. “I mean it. I don’t want to split up. I haven’t given up on us yet.”

“You called it off for a reason.”

Robert took another step closer. “I was angry and hurt.”

“Or maybe you don’t really wanna be with me. Maybe you want Rebecca and I was just passing the time for you. Maybe I’m an idiot for thinking this was real,” Aaron said, looking down.

“You really believe that?” Robert said. “You really think that I don’t love you? That I don’t want to be with you?”

“I don’t know!” Aaron said and finally looked up, tears in his eyes. “I don’t know.”

Robert sat down next to him on the table. “Aaron… I’ve told you before that I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. What you think’s going on between me and Rebecca, it’s all in your head.”

“But it’s not though, Robert, is it?” Aaron asked. “It’s in my face and it’s all the time. She’s always there.”

Robert could hear Vic in his head telling him to just lay it out all out there. “Is this just because Rebecca’s a woman?”

“What?”

“If it was a bloke, would you be reacting this same way?” Robert asked.

“I don’t understand what you’re asking,” Aaron said.

“I think you do,” Robert said.

Aaron didn’t say anything and looked down at his hands again.

“You’re worried about me cheating on you with Rebecca,” Robert said quietly. “I’m worried you don’t accept me for who I am.”

“What? Why would ya say that?” Aaron asked.

“You’re the only one that I’ve told everything to, the one person that I’ve been one hundred percent myself with. But I don’t think you really like my being bisexual,” Robert said.

“I just don’t get it,” Aaron said.

“There’s nothing to get,” Robert said. “It’s who I am.”

Aaron stayed quiet again.

“You keep saying that I can’t choose or make my mind up,” Robert said. “I think you wish I was gay. Be easier on you.”

“Only so I’m not sat here wondering who you’ve gone off with now,” Aaron said.

Robert looked down and folded his hands in front of him. “So because I’m bi I will cheat with anyone who walks passed me.”

“No, Robert, that’s not what I meant,” Aaron said.

“That’s what it sounds like,” Robert said.

Aaron didn’t say anything.

“It feels like your jealousy and worry over Rebecca is about me being bi more than anything else,” Robert admitted. “And it hurts. It hurts that the man I love doesn’t seem to accept me for who I am.”

“No I do, Robert,” Aaron said, turning to face. “I swear I do. I just can’t help but get worried with her. She’s your ex. And I know she wants ya back.”

“But I don’t want her,” Robert said. “I swear to you that nothing’s happened between me and Rebecca.”

 “But it could, couldn’t it?” Aaron asked. He crossed his arms and hunched in on himself.  “She wants it to. There’s only so many times someone can say no before…”

“Before what?” Robert asked. “Before I just get tired of saying no? Before I finally cave to her? Before I decide I want to throw away all that we have, all that we’ve been through?”

Aaron sniffed and looked down. “Before you realize that I’m not enough for you.”

“What?” Robert asked.

Aaron didn’t say anything and started picking at his nails.

“Is that what’s been worrying ya?” Robert asked. “You think that I’ll lose interest in you?”

“It happened with Chrissie,” Aaron said quietly.

“Because I wasn’t in love with her,” Robert said. “I loved her and cared for her in a way, yeah. But she never really knew me, not the real me. You… You know me better than anyone else. You know every shameful secret I have. Yet you’re still here.”

Aaron clenched his hands together. Robert reached over and placed his hand on top of Aaron’s.

“Why would I give that up?” Robert asked. “Why would I want anyone else?”

Aaron took a few deep breaths.

“I don’t know how else to prove that to ya,” Robert said quietly. “I put a ring on your finger. We just got a place together. I was all set to marry you this week! What more do you want from me?”

“I want you,” Aaron said, looking up at him suddenly. “I want you to want me. Just me and no one else.”

“But I do,” Robert told him. “I’ve chosen you. I want you, only you. I love you.”

“Then why do spend so much time with her?” Aaron asked.

“I was only trying to make more money for our future,” Robert said.

“I forgot your one true love is money,” Aaron said.

“That’s not fair,” Robert said, dropping Aaron’s hand. “Everything I do is for our future. I want to be able to take care of ya, you and Liv.”

“She’s your ex, Robert,” Aaron said. “And it’s doing my head in that she’s around you all the time.”

“She doesn’t mean anything to me,” Robert said. “You, on the other hand, mean everything.”

“Then why keep on with her?” Aaron asked quietly. “If it was over between you two and you don’t care about her, why keep spending time with her?”

“I told you, for money and business,” Robert said. “That’s it.”

“But it’s driving me mad, Robert,” Aaron said. “It’s like she’s flaunting it at me. Like she thinks she could get you back at any time.”

“She can’t,” Robert said. “No matter what she thinks, I don’t want her.”

“It’s just… Why wouldn’t you want her? She’s a beautiful woman who got loads of money. And I’m… a messed up mechanic who’s so scared of losing ya that I’m pushing you right to her.” Aaron rubbed at his face in frustration.

“Hey,” Robert said. “I told you I wanted messed up, didn’t I?”

Aaron laughed a little and wiped at his eyes. Robert put his hand on Aaron’s knee.

“I’m just as scared of losing you,” Robert admitted. “After everything I’ve done… I’m just terrified of the day I finally do something that will be the last straw for ya.”

“That wouldn’t happen,” Aaron promised him, gripping Robert’s hand on his knee.

“Sometimes I can hardly believe you’re still with me, after everything,” Robert admitted.

“Me neither,” Aaron whispered.

Aaron leaned towards him, reaching out to grab at Robert’s arm to pull him in. Robert kissed him before just resting his forehead against Aaron’s.

“I’m sorry,” Robert said. “I should have realized it was more than jealousy. I should have sat down with you, really talk to you about it before I starting helping her out.”

“I don’t want you to feel like I don’t accept you, Robert,” Aaron told him. “I don’t want you to feel you have to hide anything from me.”

“We just gotta talk about this stuff,” Robert said. “I can’t know what you’re really feeling and thinking if you don’t talk to me.”

“I’m just,” Aaron sighed. “I’m not great at talking about this stuff. I don’t want to sound needy or pathetic.”

Robert put his arm around Aaron and pulled him in closer. He rubbed at Aaron’s arm as Aaron practically melted into his side. Robert could finally breathe again and felt like maybe things would be okay now.

“Telling me how you feel isn’t any of that,” Robert said. “We’re supposed to be getting married. That means sharing all that stuff, yeah?”

“I’m no good at doing all that couple stuff,” Aaron said. “Like sharing my feelings and whatever.”

“Neither am I,” Robert said. “But I’d rather risk sounding pathetic with you than keep things bottled and lose ya.”

“You’ve gone soft,” Aaron told him. “Makes me almost miss the old arrogant, Robert.”

Robert laughed at that. “He’s still around. But you see, I’ve got this fiancé who’s a soft idiot as well. And he’d kill me for saying so, but I think he rather likes that I’ve gone soft for him.”

“Who says I’m soft now?” Aaron asked.

“You had wanted to keep a coin and engrave the date on it,” Robert said. “But I swear I won’t tell anyone that you’re so sentimental. It’ll be our secret, eh?”

Aaron reached up and kissed Robert’s cheek quickly before resting his head back on Robert’s shoulder.

“You know how much I love you, yeah?” Robert asked softly.

“I know,” Aaron said. “Love ya too.”

Robert tightened his arms around Aaron and just let out a breath. That sat there for a few more minutes together, just enjoying the quiet.

“I suppose we best go and finish packing,” Robert said reluctantly. “We’ve still got our flight to catch tomorrow.”

“You still want to go?” Aaron asked.

“Course I do,” Robert told him and start unwarping his arms from around Aaron. “A whole week alone with you is all I want.”

“But what about… you know, getting married?” Aaron asked.

“Let’s just go and see what happens?” Robert suggested. “Besides, I’ve only just got on your mum’s good side. Not sure I wanna risk her anger if we do a Vegas wedding without her.”

“I just want our wedding to be about us,” Aaron admitted. “Not for my mum or Vic or anyone else. Just for us.”

“Sounds perfect,” Robert said.

Aaron rolled his eyes as he got off the table, but he did reach out to offer his hand to Robert as he started pushing himself off the table. Robert kept smiling as Aaron didn’t drop his hand as they walked back into the pub.

 


End file.
